My mum -- Remember when you used to walk around with your vibrators in your robe pockets?
Me -- Wha? I don't even know what you are talking about. I have no recollection.
Mum -- You know you had vibrators in your pockets.
Me -- I kept them there, like hidden, but I was definitely not wandering around with them. Like I just couldn't be without a dildo at any given time?
Mum -- Oooooh, that makes more sense.
Me -- I'm so embarrassed that for seven years you thought I just had to be able to masturbate at any given time. In my robe.