Given the so-called "frenzy" we've been watching (and participating in) on Twitter in the last few days, when even so-called progressive liberals like Micheal Moore and Keith Olberman are willing to contribute to and perpetuate an environment of apologism and denial, it's easy to feel frustrated or even defeated. That's why I'm so grateful we have bloggers like Sady who aren't backing down, even when faced with threats, harassment, and the continued silence of a Stupid White Man. Inspired by Sady's mission to raise money for RAINN, Alex and I are both donating to the TRCC this Christmas. I'm also sharing this guide from the Toronto Rape Crisis Centre:
20 Things You Can Do To Transform Rape Culture
1. Speak up. Don't listen quietly to sexist jokes or comments. Tell your friends you're uncomfortable with how they portray woman.
2. Teach your children to respect children of the opposite gender. Model for them that each sex has an immeasurable value and that neither should be seen as better, more powerful, smarter, than the other.
3. Talk to boys about their sexuality. Tell them about their responsibility, too.
4. Talk to girls about their sexuality. Give them the information that will enable them to make intelligent, thoughtful, responsible decisions about their sexually. Tell them their body is their own and is for their pleasure.
5. Support your daughters, nieces, and neighbours. Encourage them to relish their mental and physical strength.
6. Don't be silent when you see a T-shirt, sign, poster, movie, or anything you find offensive to women. Say something.
7. Insist that your clergy talk about ending violence against women in your church or synagogue.
8. Don't use words that perpetuate the language of the rape culture. Ask yourself if you would use the same word for a man. Ask yourself what the word you want to use implies.
9. Call your public officials. Find out what they're doing to transform the rape culture. Insist on their involvement.
10. Boycott movies that show women being sold, raped, and hurt by men. Help send a message that these portrayals of women will no longer be commercially successful.
11. Ask your child's school if they have a sexual harassment policy. If not, volunteer to serve on a committee to develop.
12. Encourage men you know to explore and then act upon what it means to be anti-rapist and non-violent. Insist they have the courage to behave in ways that promote a safer society.
13. Make you home free from violence and sexism. Don't watch or allow your children to watch television, movies or read magazines that perpetuate violence and the rape culture.
14. Ask your employer if your firm or organization has a sexual harassment policy. Have they provided or will they provide training for employees on harassment? If not, form an employee committee to advocate for a policy and training.
15. Write letters to establishments you find offensive and tell your friends and colleagues to do the same. Write to advertise on offensive. If there is no response, be prepared to take more direct (non-violent) action through information picketing, flyering, etc.
16. Have conversations of consent with a potential sexual partner. Verbally explore each other's comfort level with the activities taking place.
17. Learn to say "no". Learn that it is okay to be assertive. Know that it is possible to be respectful of others while asserting your feelings.
18. Support and promote women who provide positive role models. Celebrate the accomplishments of women with your children, partners, and friends. Teach others that the best women to look up to are the ones who are making a difference, not the ones who are the most famous, beautiful, and wealthy.
19. Remember: the rape culture is one for which we're all responsible, but don't blame the victim.
20. Dare to dream of a culture free of sexual and all other forms of violence... a rape culture transformed.VIA Toronto Rape Crisis Centre