Long story short, the post was rape-advocating bullshit, Jezebel was really wrong in publishing it without any sort of context and many and many blogs have had awesome take-downs. Like here, here and here. Oh, and Jezebel did run an apology that was without any actual 'sorry', thanks for that! (More after the jump)
What really struck me about the original post is that in 2010, there are people to whom consent is still murky. You want to have sex with someone, you propose it, they say yes or they say no. If they say yes then by all means, fuck your brains out. A no? Cut your freaking losses and move on. End of story. What is so hard to understand about that?
I had a situation a couple of years ago where a friend of a friend (whom I had just met that evening) offered to walk me home after a few drinks. Once at my step, he proceeded repeatedly to try and kiss me, forcibly. He kept whining about it, pleading with me before finally getting angry and stalking off. I had shown this man absolutely no interest but even if I had when I said that I didn't want his hands on me, him to kiss me he should have listened. The first time. Why would someone even want to keep trying with someone who just kept refusing?
I think I have somewhat of an idea why. In pop culture, movies and TV especially, there are countless scenes of men aggressively forcing themselves on women until the woman acquiesces. It's like once he has broken through her frigid, irrational barriers, she can then realize that she does want it.
HBO's new show, Boardwalk Empire, featured it's very own rape-tastic scene in the ninth episode. Jimmy (Michael Pitt) returns home to his girlfriend, Angela, and baby after abandoning them for a few months (during which time he fell in love with a precocious prostitute -- is there any other kind?!) and set about holding Angela down and kissing her while she fought him and said "no" and "Jimmy, stop" a dozen times. After a painfully long time, she gives in and the scene ends.
What's messed up is that many people do not see this type of scene as rape. As if since the woman eventually appears to enjoy herself then the earlier force is justified. Sex becomes attainable by any means necessary.
When these images are so prevalent in our society it sends the message to boys and girls, men and women that consent is actually a blurry line. We see over and over that it is possible to convince a woman (and sometimes men) to have sex against their will. This is dangerous and irresponsible and it needs to stop or else we are going to keep seeing articles like the afore mentioned one on Jezebel, not to mention that more girls and women will be at risk for rape. Right now statistics say that one in every four women will be raped in her lifetime and these numbers will only increase so long as anyone thinks that there is a grey area where consent is concerned.